What is the real reason we send our kids to college?

What if we could be limitless?

 

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?  

 

What projects would you work on?  Where would you go? Would you still be doing the work you do now?

 

In the film Limitless, a pill gives one human the power of all knowledge, and unlimited confidence.  In other words, all knowledge is available and failure impossible.

 

“Not many of us know what it’s like to become the perfect version of ourselves.”

– Eddie Mora, played by Bradley Cooper in the film Limitless

 

It’s a fun idea.  

 

As parents, isn’t this what we want for our kids?  Not with the pill, I mean. But, to be limitless?

 

My son Alejandro turned 17 a few weeks ago.

 

We’ve been touring colleges for almost two years now and I started thinking. Why are we doing this?

 

Everyone knows the stories about billionaire college dropouts like Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, and others.

 

There’s been a lot of talk in the media about whether college costs are worth it? With some tuition over $70,000 per year and rising student debt that can never be refinanced or forgiven, there is good reason to pause. Especially in the fields of study where jobs are not readily available or not particularly high paying like education, and the arts and humanities.

 

Plus, you can learn all the same skills and use all the same textbooks at your local community college or even just the public library. There’s even free courses from the very same Ivy League colleges and universities online 24/7.

 

So, why do we all strive to send our kids to the same 100 or so colleges? Why have parents committed crimes to get them in?

 

The answer dawned on me as I sat in a recent presentation for Stanford University which I attended with my son.

 

There were wonderful slides and a nice introduction by the Dean of Admissions.  But then, they introduced a panel of recent grads. Not only were they poised and well-spoken, but the sense of confidence without arrogance was palpable.  Here were five twenty-somethings who carried themselves as if they were decades more experienced and were already directors of teams and managing projects spread across the globe.  And they all exuded this single quality…limitless.

 

Going to a good school is not just about the curriculum.

 

It’s more than that. College is an experience. It’s a 4-year version of that Limitless pill. It’s about transformation.

 

As a coach and mentor to other business owners and educators, I’ve discovered growth is more mental than physical. In fact, it’s 80% mental and 20% physical.

 

When I say mental, I mean mindset:  the thoughts and feelings you experience on a daily basis. 

 

The college experience is about transforming what you thought was impossible in yourself and in the world.

 

By surrounding yourself with other like-minded people, you share similar expectations and shift beliefs to  what is possible.

 

You are held accountable for your actions.  

 

That’s the real reason we want the best schools for our kids.  It’s four years of breaking and rebuilding beliefs and lifting each other up.

 

“If you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself, and reinvent a new self.

– Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself, By Dr. Joe Dispenza

 

Education, and all experience, is a path to becoming. If we view all life as this path, we can make better choices. Everything is an opportunity for reinvention. But, only if one is aware of this power. We are all authors and composers of our lives.

 

It’s why we enroll our kids in activities like sports, language and music lessons. It’s why we “make memories” with them every time we take them on a family trip.

 

“…your familiar memories related to your known world ‘re-mind’ you to reproduce the same experiences…the way you think and feel – and then see how the external environment is altered by your efforts…”

– Dr. Joe Dispenza

 

We are the heroes of our children’s lives. We have the power to give this gift of possibility. And it doesn’t require a pill. It only takes a shift in mindset.

 

So, take an interest in your children’s hopes and dreams. Give them opportunities to soar.   Invest in your own coaching and model the limitless mindset.

Feel free to share this with your friends.

The best way to praise your children

The best way to praise your children

Take a look at these two sentences.

1) “Great job, you must be really smart.”

2) “Great job, you must have worked really hard at this.”

So similar but a vast difference in results.

 

If you say “Great job, you must be really smart,”

the child hears,

“Oh you think I’m brilliant and talented.  That’s why you admire me and why you value me. I  better not do any that will disprove this evaluation.”

It leads to a “fixed mindset.”

Whereas focusing on the process of growth leads to greater perseverance, grit and focus.   This comes from the research in the 1970’s by Stanford professor, Dr. Carol Dweck and has influenced so many others including Dr. Angela Lee Duckworth’s work on Grit.

When Alejandro was still small, I used to habitually say, “Good job.”  And I noticed over time, a fixed mindset was starting to set in.  If the task did not come quickly and easily, he wouldn’t persist or even attempt to try.

After I learned about Growth Mindset, I quickly shifted how I  praised and it began to change.  Thankfully, it seems to have been corrected.

It’s the same in music lessons.  I have become aware of seeking to praise the process and effort.  Over time, you will begin to notice how your child reacts differently.

I tried to read Carol Dweck’s academic works, but found them very dry.  This video is a much simpler, easier and fun way to learn more.

 

Brain scans show marked difference before and after music lessons

There has been a lot of attention towards the affects of music instruction on brain development. But I think this is the first time I’ve seen actual scans of the brains of young children.

Fibers belonging to the greater forceps pre-musical training are observed (A, B, C). Fibers belonging to the same patients after 9 months of musical training are observed below (a, b, c). Credit: Radiological Society of North America

Studies have already shown that learning music can be beneficial to children with brain development disorders like autism. Researchers from the Hospital Infantil de México Federico Gómez in Mexico City wanted to understand more specifically what changes happen in the brain due to musical instruction.

“When a child receives musical instruction, their brains are asked to complete certain tasks. These tasks involve hearing, motor, cognition, emotion and social skills, which seem to activate these different brain areas.These results may have occurred because of the need to create more connections between the two hemispheres of the brain,” explained Dr. Dies-Suarez.

See full article.

 

 

music lessons for kids 4 years old and up in Park Slope